Argument Essay 1
What I Changed...
According to the rubric for this particular essay, the only thing I needed to fix was pronoun and antecedent agreement. Therefore, the only changes that I made to this essay was pronoun and antecedent agreement.
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You Booze, You Lose
Each year approximately 16,000 people are killed due to drunken
driving related accidents. Do you want to be involved in one of these accidents?
Many people question whether drunk drivers should be imprisoned on the first
offense. If you came across an article in the newspaper that explained a recent
accident due to drunken driving, you may think that it was inexplicable.
However, the rates of such accidents could be lowered immensely if drunk drivers were imprisoned on the first offense.
Most adults enjoy having a drink or two on any night of the week.
However, one drink may turn into two, and two into three, and so on. When the
drinker picks up his or her keys to head home after drinking an excess amount of
alcohol, he or she is not only putting his or her own life in danger, but several others as well. By imprisoning drunk drivers on the first offense, they
would be less likely to drink and drive again, resulting in less drunken driving fatalities. Therefore, second time drunk drivers will be less likely to commit the gaffe again because of the harsh punishment they received from the first occasion.
Not only will imprisoning drunk drivers on the first offense save lives, but it will prevent others from committing the impromptu crime. By adopting a harsher punishment for the crime, less people are likely to drive while intoxicated because they do not want to suffer the consequences. Accordingly, if one person is faced with imprisonment due to drunk driving, they may persuade others that it is simply not worth doing the spontaneous act and to put the car keys away until the alcohol wears off. Therefore, a harsher punishment, such as imprisonment, on the first offense will convince less people to commit the crime and in return save more lives from the tragedies.
On the other hand, others may think that imprisonment on the first drunk driving offense is unfair because the offender was never given a warning. However, a crime is a crime. If one chooses to commit the crime, he or she should be willing to do the time. Would it be just for a first time murderer to be given a warning instead of being imprisoned? Ignorance of the law is not an acceptable excuse. If a person is willing to put his or her own life in danger as well as all of the other motorists on the road, he or she deserves to be imprisoned on the first offense.
In addition to people thinking that drunk drivers deserve a warning before being imprisoned, they may think that the punishment is too harsh for the first time. Drunk driving can result in vehicular manslaughter. Again, would it be just to allow a murderer to get away with a warning the first time, or shall they be imprisoned the first time they commit the crime? What is the difference? When one commits a crime, he or she deserves to be punished. If a person is ignorant enough to put the lives of others in danger, he or she shall be imprisoned. Why would anyone want to risk the lives of others when the fatalities from drunk driving could be reduced by a harsher punishment on
the first offense?
Drunk driving is a serious crime. Almost equivalent to murder, drunk driving can lead to vehicular manslaughter, which is entirely preventable. Even though you may not intend to take the life of another, driving under the influence is a crime that can be avoided with imprisonment on the first offense. By setting a harsher punishment for the first offense of the crime, more lives can be saved and fewer tragedies may occur. Therefore, imprisonment on the first offense of driving under the influence is a necessity.
driving related accidents. Do you want to be involved in one of these accidents?
Many people question whether drunk drivers should be imprisoned on the first
offense. If you came across an article in the newspaper that explained a recent
accident due to drunken driving, you may think that it was inexplicable.
However, the rates of such accidents could be lowered immensely if drunk drivers were imprisoned on the first offense.
Most adults enjoy having a drink or two on any night of the week.
However, one drink may turn into two, and two into three, and so on. When the
drinker picks up his or her keys to head home after drinking an excess amount of
alcohol, he or she is not only putting his or her own life in danger, but several others as well. By imprisoning drunk drivers on the first offense, they
would be less likely to drink and drive again, resulting in less drunken driving fatalities. Therefore, second time drunk drivers will be less likely to commit the gaffe again because of the harsh punishment they received from the first occasion.
Not only will imprisoning drunk drivers on the first offense save lives, but it will prevent others from committing the impromptu crime. By adopting a harsher punishment for the crime, less people are likely to drive while intoxicated because they do not want to suffer the consequences. Accordingly, if one person is faced with imprisonment due to drunk driving, they may persuade others that it is simply not worth doing the spontaneous act and to put the car keys away until the alcohol wears off. Therefore, a harsher punishment, such as imprisonment, on the first offense will convince less people to commit the crime and in return save more lives from the tragedies.
On the other hand, others may think that imprisonment on the first drunk driving offense is unfair because the offender was never given a warning. However, a crime is a crime. If one chooses to commit the crime, he or she should be willing to do the time. Would it be just for a first time murderer to be given a warning instead of being imprisoned? Ignorance of the law is not an acceptable excuse. If a person is willing to put his or her own life in danger as well as all of the other motorists on the road, he or she deserves to be imprisoned on the first offense.
In addition to people thinking that drunk drivers deserve a warning before being imprisoned, they may think that the punishment is too harsh for the first time. Drunk driving can result in vehicular manslaughter. Again, would it be just to allow a murderer to get away with a warning the first time, or shall they be imprisoned the first time they commit the crime? What is the difference? When one commits a crime, he or she deserves to be punished. If a person is ignorant enough to put the lives of others in danger, he or she shall be imprisoned. Why would anyone want to risk the lives of others when the fatalities from drunk driving could be reduced by a harsher punishment on
the first offense?
Drunk driving is a serious crime. Almost equivalent to murder, drunk driving can lead to vehicular manslaughter, which is entirely preventable. Even though you may not intend to take the life of another, driving under the influence is a crime that can be avoided with imprisonment on the first offense. By setting a harsher punishment for the first offense of the crime, more lives can be saved and fewer tragedies may occur. Therefore, imprisonment on the first offense of driving under the influence is a necessity.